Anxiety, I’m the problem
(to the tune of Taylor Swift’s Anti-Hero song) Hello, I’m Anxiety. I’m the problem. It’s me. Anxiety is such a rude and annoying feeling that pops up at the worst moments. Without going into too much detail, life has been extremely stressful lately. It starts with one item then two more items building each day, then week, then two weeks until finally you have so much anxiety you go into a panic attack. I can only speak to what mine are like—rushing heat, the desire to run or pace, heart racing, and a weird out of control feeling that is hard to explain (it could be the rush of adrenaline).
So what do you do when you have been trying to do self-care but life keepings piling more things on you until your body freaks out on you and goes into this flight/fight mode? Well, hopefully you have a support group of people you can call and talk to about what is going on. There is no shame in having anxiety or having a panic attack, but I often hear complaints about how embarrassing it is to have a panic attack and lose control. The truth is you probably lost control a few choices back and now your body and brain are saying, “Um yeah, ignoring us won’t work so this is what we are going to do so you notice us.” Also, anxiety is common these days. One party I was at a friend confessed of having random panic attacks due to an upcoming medical procedure people over 50 have to endure. Upon hearing this, our group of about 9 people all started talking about how each of us have had the experience of a panic attack. I was one of the few who did not go racing to the emergency room thinking it was a heart attack. Getting the problem out in the open among trusted people is a great way to cope with stress and anxiety to prevent panic attacks or get through one.
After talking to others, you also need to talk to yourself and calm yourself down. Ask yourself these questions
Where am I? Am I safe? Is there a real threat?
What do I see and smell?
What do I feel in my hands and on my skin?
What do I have control over in this moment?
I mentioned in a previous post about FEAR-false evidence appearing real. These questions will put the feelings of anxiety and panic in check. If you can walk and walking seems to help, the feelings you are having are probably anxiety (this bit of information comes from a legit licensed therapist on the East Coast). Always go to the ER if you think you are having a heart attack. I’ve been told by others that they thought they were having a heart attack because they felt like they could not breathe and their heart was racing. I have slightly different symptoms. I can breathe. I need to remind myself to take deep breathes rather than shallow ones, but I do breathe easy as opposed to friends and family who have described being out of breath and like they were going to die.
Good news by the way you don’t die from a panic attack. At least, I have never heard of anyone who did and my doctor verified this. The feelings of anxiety and panic are uncomfortable but they are feelings which will pass. The key is to not focus on the feelings which are false alarms. You will need to shift into investigator mode and ask those questions.
If you cannot focus on what you hear, see, smell, feel then I offer up a simple solution, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Wash your hands in cold water. For some reason, washing hands in cold water and feeling the cold help to reset your nervous system. I mention in my other video how I have held ice in my hands. I also get extremely hot during an attack. If you go the other way, let’s say you are feeling too cold and that seems to have kicked on the flight/fight trigger, then put your hands under your armpits and if possible move around to generate body heat. One October I went out and the cold had triggered me. October where I live can go from 40 degrees to 80 degrees in a matter of hours. I wasn’t prepared, felt too cold, and started to panic. For this reason, I bring layers if there is a possibility of cold. Sometimes I even wonder, “who the heck am I Goldilocks and my three bears because I can’t regulate my body temp.” It happens. Give yourself grace.
Our society is fast-paced and demanding plus social media gives the illusion everyone else has their life together. I want to assure you everyone is going through something. Be kind to each other. Be kind to yourself. Stress and anxiety will put wear and tear on your body. Think of anxiety and even a panic attack as your body’s way of saying, “hey, hello, can you pay attention over here?” Once the panic part has passed (an attack could range from 5 to 20 minutes), find a place to sit and do a brain dump. Write down all the random stuff on your mind. What is going on in your life that is stressing you out? Or is there a person or job that is stressing you out?
I’ll give an example of how an attack could start and how it could end and find a resolution. I fly and travel all over. I even give speaking engagements so I’m one of those weirdos that is not afraid to talk to a group of people (biggest so far has been a college graduation). Although I want to travel and that means flying, I can very easily get anxious and start to worry about “being trapped on a plane for 8-10 hours and having no control over when we arrive.” I could also get on the plane and not get anxious at all. I prepare ahead of time by having things to occupy my mind (say a crossword puzzle, magazine, audio book, music). I also have nourished my body with good things and avoided sugar and caffeine. If I start to feel anxiety, instead of labeling it as a bad feeling I need to push down and avoid, I will notice it and say, “hey I’m feeling anxious.” I will run down my list of questions. I am on a plane waiting to take off so I’m not in danger. There is not a tiger or rattlesnake threatening me that I need to run from right now. What am I feeling? What am I hearing? Well I am feeling a little cold on the plane and that baby in row J is screaming bloody murder. Okay so I can control my temperature because I’m going to put on that extra layer I know to carry. I cannot control the screaming baby. I may put earbuds in and start listening to music. I take deep breathes to calm down. If I feel like, this is not working, I need to stand up. I go to the bathroom. In that tiny sink, I will run the water and wash my hands. If it crosses my brain I may pray or recite a mantra. One good mantra is that “This is uncomfortable but not deadly” or “this is temporary and it will pass.” This is usually enough to get over the anxiety and feel some peace.
I hope this blog has offered some helpful tips and insight on what leads up to and causes an attack; however, you are capable of taking control and riding out those uncomfortable feelings. If you have other tips you would like to offer up, please comment below.
