Are you present
Have you ever driven from point A to point B and realized I do not remember the drive here at all? Or, you were so into a conversation in your head that you missed someone talking right next to you about the amazing new book they read? Maybe, you are so worried about an upcoming doctor’s appointment you walk out of the house without car keys, your beverage, and a jacket. Sound familiar? In each scenario, you were not present. You were not present on that drive to downtown surrounded by the fall foilage. You were not present when your friend told you about a book they were recommending. You were time traveling into a possible future when you were packing up to leave your house for the day. When you are not present, you are probably on auto-pilot, running through your day, multitasking and trying as best as possible to get as much crammed in as possible. This robs you of the most precious thing you have and that is your present.
When we live in the past (that conversation you are re-living in your head), you miss out on the people around you. You fail to listen and be there for your friend, family member, co-worker, or even boss. Your mind is somewhere else and not present so you miss out. When you worry about the future (that upcoming doctor’s appointment), you miss out on the good things around you now like the smell and taste of your beverage, the crisp air, the bright sun, the fun of driving your route to work and discovering a new shop has opened.
I am so guilty of doing this I estimate that really 90% of my life the present moment was actually gobbled up by past trauma or ruined by trying to predict and prevent gloom and doom in the future. My goal when I turned 50 was to get control over my thoughts and be more present. Some people also call this slow living. In fact, in response to the faster, faster grind and all that is social media, many people are lifting up their heads and saying, “Hang on. This way is not good for me. I don’t even know how I got here. I want to live intentionally, with purpose, doing what I want and at MY speed.”
The benefit of being present is that you actually get to live your life. You experience your senses and enjoy moments as they happen. By being present for your life, you also realize how one hour could be great conversation, the next hour could be serious focus on work, the next hour could be hard and even difficult, but you know it will pass so you get through it, to reach the next hour, the next moment of your day. When you are present, you may have a long to-do list but you do one thing at a time. You schedule breaks and check in with your body. Ask yourself how is my energy level? Do I need some deep breathing? Do I need water? By dealing with things as they naturally unfold, you go with the flow of the day. You ride the wave of highs and lows that occur during a normal day. Slow and intentional living means that you control the day instead of the day controlling you. If the day controls you, instead of going with the flow, you may feel like a towel that’s been used up, thrown around, washed, and hung out to dry. When you let the day control you, instead of riding the highs and lows, you feel like you have been riding a bull and getting thrown off and trampled on.
I mentioned this is an issue I’ve been working on. Recently, I let my mind do some unproductive time traveling and worried about something that may or may not happen. I spun my wheels; however, I recognized that behavior and put the brakes on it. I needed to slow down and be present. Where was I right now? What did I need to do right now? How could I slow down and self-care right now? This helped me over a rough hump and instead of running away from an event or hiding my head in the sand, I faced the present head on. This helped me build my confidence that I can handle the present even if that present is something uncomfortable, difficult, or scary.
Why do I mention this now? Well, the holidays are upon us once again. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are all on display at the same time in all the retail stores. You could feel like the pressure is on. My goal will be to first, enjoy Halloween as much as an adult can. Growing up it was really a holiday for kids. I understand many adults now love to celebrate this with adult sort of parties. Whatever you like to do, go for it; for me, giving candy to children and a bonfire sounds good. After Halloween is over, I will move into Thanksgiving mode and start planning recipes. I will slow down and not rush right into Christmas. I want to enjoy my present and that means I will slow walk each holiday. Have I purchased a new Christmas ornament for the tree this year? Yes I did. I did it the same day I bought Halloween candy. However, I plan on doing one holiday at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time so I can really see, smell, taste, and enjoy what each holiday has to offer. See if you can slow down this year and pinpoint the exact moment your brain registers, “It’s winter.” For now, enjoy fall and if you have any tips on how you survive the holidays or stay present in general please comment below. I would love to hear your ideas.
