Being thankful in a thank-less world
I hope this isn’t a shock but you cannot save the world, your best friend, your child, your parent, your co-worker, your spouse, really anybody but yourself. You see you have no control over other people and what they do, say, think and many people are so wrapped up in their own family cycles they can’t even see straight. So what do you do once you realize your life purpose cannot be trying to save other people from themselves? You live for yourself.
If the point of life is to live for yourself what does that mean? Does that mean you sit at home binge-watching re-runs of The Big Bang Theory and eat ice cream out of the carton while drinking whiskey? You can. Remember, if you cannot control other people, other people also cannot control you. WHAT? Yep that’s correct; however, you will have to deal with the consequences of your choices. Let’s run through some examples.
Your family gets together every Thanksgiving for a gigantic feast that goes from noon to eight o-clock at night. You have gone every year for the past twenty years of your life. However, this year you are thinking maybe I want to do something different. Yeah, I love grandma’s casserole and grandpa always carves a leg off for me, but I had a tough year and I found a cruise to Mexico for under $500.00 all-inclusive. You go on the cruise. You control yourself and not anyone else. Well grandma and grandpa are sad and a little angry you didn’t come. What is this world coming to? You can’t control them, and they can’t control you. Each of you can only control how you react. If the consequences of going cruising for Thanksgiving are that your family is upset, you cannot insist they feel a different way or say that they are not entitled to their feelings. So what if you passed up the cruise and begrudgingly go to Thanksgiving dinner but feel annoyed you have to do the same thing every year? Your life, your choices, your consequences and so if you decide to see the family and skip the cruise to Mexico opportunity, you made that choice.
Let’s try another example, every year you bake a cake for mom’s birthday. You don’t really like to bake and it would be easier to buy something; however, there is fantasy you baking the “perfect” birthday cake every year for your mom because that’s your job among your siblings. You being the oldest take charge. You may have been mom’s “perfect” child all these decades and now at 30 you are really tired of being perfect. In fact, you feel like you are drowning this year. You do not have to live the life someone else dreamed up for you. Your life is your life and not your parent’s life. If you want to quit baking that cake, quit baking the cake.
Right now, there are people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s that are still worried about what mom will think or how the family will react. Maybe the most courageous thing to do is be yourself because you cannot save the world and pretending to enjoy something you don’t will not help the world, your family, or your friends. Pretending you want to make that cake is slowly wearing you down. Let it go. Be thankful for who you are and what you have. Celebrate where you are today. Let go of all those past decisions where you let someone else decide for you. Let go of the moments in the past when you were too scared to show up as your authentic self. This year as we finish out 2024 be bold and be you.
