Surviving holidays as a highly sensitive person
Highly sensitive people are not weak or less than, and they do not have a disorder. Instead, highly sensitive people have nervous systems that process surrounding sensory information more intensely. I like to think of it as a super power like spidy sense (all you Spiderman fans know what I mean). An HSP (highly sensitive person) may be more aware of lights, smells, sounds, body language, facial expressions, and even the emotions of others than an average person. You can be an empath and an HSP or just one or the other. Empathic people are in tune with emotions and energy from people. If you are an HSP, you may need time alone to process what you experienced, you may require more naps so your brain can replace chemicals and renew cells.
To use your super power think of it this way, you only need a little bit of stimuli and you are good to go. That sensory sensitivity means you do not love loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, and other sensory stimuli. Because of this gift that puts your senses on alert, an HSP would probably detect danger first. However, after being in a crowded or chaotic environment, like a 20 person gathering for the holidays, an HSP will want to recover and recharge possibly alone or if they have a partner doing an activity in silence. An HSP is keen to small details and that is a gift in many job positions; however, the gift would best be used in a quiet environment. The best advice I can give an HSP who is headed to a crowded place is to remember that you have some escape routes: 1. go to the bathroom and get in a stall for some alone time 2. tell the people you are with that you left something in the car and need to run out to get it (if you do not come back with it just say it must be at home) 3. be honest and say you are not feeling great and need to go home and make it a short visit. I remember seeing television sitcoms where couples set a timer for how long they are going to spend at a friend’s party.
Another part of this gift is how HSPs can tune into another person’s emotions. Another way to look at this is that we are intuitive to other people’s cues like body language. This is where empaths and HSPs cross over. Both are in tune with the emotions of others, and experience those emotions intensely as if it happened to them. I have to take tissues with me to a movie theater because if any person or animal dies, I will cry. If a friend tells me about a loss or stress they are experiencing, I feel the sadness and anxiety also. This helps me as a coach when I meet clients because they can tell how deeply I care and feel for them and the situation we are working on. However, there are emotional vampires out there which people need to be cautious of and if someone takes more than gives then limit your time with them.
HSPs also reflect on experiences and interactions longer than the average person because we process evereything deeply and thoroughly. This is why HSPs enjoy books and movies and internalize those experiences deeply. Have you ever heard someone say that a book became a part of them? For an HSP, the experience of that book and what they picked up from the journey of reading it resonates with them years, sometimes for their entire life, after the phyiscal book is gone. This is why after a large family gathering the HSP may want a few hours to process everything that was done and said and then conclude, “That went well” and what new bit of information they have uncovered about themselves or someone else.
Remember you can also say “no” to anything that doesn’t agree with you. Your only obligation is to yourself. I’m not condoning the me, me, me culture but rather self-care and boundaries. Too many family members say, “yes” and bury feelings. I am a big believer in talking, listening, and communicating to get a better understanding. Communication is how you can learn to love others better. Happy holidays!!! Enjoy these holidays however you want to and say Yes, to YOURSELF (shameless book plug check Amazon under Loretta Calvert and books).
