Mentally clean up your act
This is the last of the cleanup series. After decluttering, cleaning up your house, and making new food choices, here is the hardest step--cleaning up your mental thoughts. Thought can be inspiring and move us forward or they can be like parasites sucking all the joy put of life. Look for some typical mental patterns:
1. If only.... if only I invested in that stock, if only I had stayed at that job, if only I had moved to that city. If only is a way of being stuck in the past wishing your current life was different. If you can, look for three things you are grateful for in your current life. You may not have those things if you had gone in a different direction. I use this technique when I think of a job I loved but left because my ex was jealous of my success. Although I miss that job, I am so grateful I have my new spouse in my life who supports my decisions.
2. What if....what if my health doesn't improve, what if my child fails third grade, what if my spouse leaves me, what if my parent dies. What if questions mean you are fast forwarding to the future and a future that may never happen. What if is wasted energy! I have confronted all buy one of those what is and let me assure you I missed out on experiencing the present day. Again, look for something that brings you joy or at lease gratitude. I love nature and art. On a sunny day I can turn to nature for a boost back to the present. On a rainy day, I turn to doing artwork and crafts in my home. What can you work on today? This will allow you to use your time on something else.
3. I can't do this. Oh yes you can. When faced with something new and unfamiliar we could come across a “I can’t do this” thought. Please test this thought! The older you are the more life experiences you lived through, and the more prepared you are to handle what life throws at you. Now there is a big difference between having to perform emergency surgery on yourself while remote camping AND getting through your next job interview. Really assess the situation and then I challenge you to handle it the best you can. Push comes to shove I want to think I would be tough enough to splint my arm if I fell hiking on a remote trail. (oh man, did you see how a “what if” snuck in on my happy little daydream of hiking!) I don’t have to worry about crossing that bridge unless I ever come to it but if that time does come, I will probably do better if I realize, I’m going to do the best I can right now and try to find help. I have been on several job interviews so I am at the point where I may be excited and a little nervous about an interview but the thought “I can’t do this” does not even enter my brain. My neurons don’t recognize that pattern. I have had enough successes where I went to a job interview and survived the event without problems. If I was in my twenties and I was worried I couldn’t get through a job interview, then ask friends or mentors for advice. Do the best you can with the tools you know like deep breathing, preparing by researching the company or person you are interviewing with, and above all remember hygiene and good business attire. If you think, “I can do this” your chances of success go up.
Now, mental cleaning is like brushing your teeth or going to the bathroom. You need to do it more than once a day. If you have good morning and evening rituals, then you can maintain a happy and healthy mind by including mental clean up in those periods. However, if you are new to mental cleaning and prone to negative thoughts and time travel thoughts where you live in the past beating yourself up over mistakes or predict that everything is about to go wrong in the future, you will need to be more diligent about what you are thinking and feeling. Check in every time you go to the bathroom. You should be in the stall alone and have a moments peace to evaluate “how do I feel” and “what have I been thinking about” and “is that a past thing that is over and I can’t change it or a future thing that may never happen?” This will keep you on top of the pesky thoughts that can derail an otherwise happy, grateful, and joyous day.
In love and light, Loretta
