Are you doing too much
Many people love to make lists and check items off the list as they get tasks done. Lists are great tools. If you haven’t done a list or evaluated where your day goes, you could be missing out on using your time more productively. This blog entry is about working smarter (not harder), setting boundaries, AND prioritizing yourself to avoid burn out.
When I was a salaried employee, there were times I would work more than 40 hours a week. Teaching was something I was passionate about and so I never minded working extra to benefit my students. One of the problems I experienced and had to overcome was checking email too often. Yes, you can check your email too often. You could go into work having every intention of spending your first hour of the day on an important project. However, if you check and start responding to emails first, it is possible your entire morning will get sucked into handling all those little questions and fires instead of dealing with your main goal. If you need to check email first, limit yourself to five to ten minutes and scan for important people and topics. After the time limit, (and set a timer) go into that project you consider your first priority.
Now, there is your work that is part of your job description, and there are other workers who should be doing there work. How often is a co-worker or friend coming to you for help or advice on their job? Do not do someone else’s job for them and do not volunteer for more work. You have your work and assignments to do. Get all of your work done before you volunteer to help someone else. Sometimes people ask how to do something and we may think “it is faster if I do it myself.” Individuals will not learn unless they actively participate and do it themselves. Don’t have them watch you do it. Have them do the task. Also, it is totally fine to say, “I would love to help you, but I am in the middle of working on this so I cannot.”
Work is not our only blind spot when it comes to doing too much. We can also do too much when it comes to family. I know a woman who is the designated head of a large multi-generational family. Everyone expects her to be the hostess and cook everything for the holidays. She doesn’t enjoy it anymore. No one in the family is interested in helping. However, she refuses to stand back and set a boundary that she is too tired or that food costs too much in today’s economy to keep this family tradition alive. I’ve asked what would happen if you did not cook, and she has said, “nothing would get done and they would hate me for it.” Those are some really harsh family members. Part of the peace I found as an adult was cutting out family members who were not loving and supportive. The family I do still have in my life believes in sharing responsibilities and keeping work fairly spread out. If you are the work horse of your family, consider taking a holiday off. Use whatever excuse you want or book a holiday away from family to enjoy your holiday with your immediate family only.
Sometimes we also become the neighborhood busy body. Where I live home owner associations are pretty common. I have lived in communities that have self-appointed HOA police that want to talk to you about everything from how many decorations are on your stoop to what color you should paint your front door. Or maybe you are that well-meaning friend who has to offer helpful advice that is not asked for by friends and neighbors. If a young couple is raising three small children, do you start offering unsolicited parenting advice. This is someone doing too much. Focus on yourself. What can YOU work on that will make YOUR life more fulfilling. In recovery, we talk about staying in your lane. If you spend too much time focussing on everyone else’s recovery but not your own, that’s probably going to backfire on you.
With your new found time, you can self-care. Self-care can mean taking a walk, journaling, calling a friend, or baking a recipe. Self-care is something you do to give yourself peace and joy. We need to hit the reset button. Self-care is good for our physical and mental well-being.
Please comment below, how do you keep a balance in your life between getting your prioritize done and also putting time in for your self-care. Or are you identifying with one of the people I mentioned above and doing too much because you are doing your work and getting involved in someone else’s life.
