Ain’t too proud to lube
After talking to some female friends of mine, it seems men take how “wet” a woman is as some sort of male accomplishment. I want to clear up some stuff on lubrication based on personal experience and science. Ladies, if you need to show this to your significant other to get the point across, I have fulfilled my purpose.
First, production of a female’s natural lubricant or juices depends on several factors including diet, age, physical fitness, and medications. Add into these factors infections, mental state (anxiety or depression) and yes finally level of arousal and you have a potent mix for some mixed signals. See Medical news today article. I will start with age because I am at THAT age. As a woman ages, her hormones and fluid production drop. It is a fact. There is NO WAY around this scientific/medical occurrance. If your 60 year old wife is not soaking wet after you kiss and tease her a little there is no epic fail. You could have worked on her for 15 minutes and maybe she still needs some help with wetness down there. I had a guy say to me once, “that’s my job, if you are not wet, I’m doing something wrong.” No, if I ask for lube, that request is not a reflection of you or me or whatever you were doing for foreplay. I’m old. I need a little extra help.
Diet plays a role in vaginal wetness. For example, if women drink alcohol or too much caffiene and not enough water all of our tissue gets drier including our Bermuda Triangle. Drink water. Eat fruits and veggies and avoid sodium. Your skin on your face will thank you also.
Physical fitness can connect to wetness and sexual desire in men and women. Studies have shown a link between exercise, obesity, and sexual desire. For some women and men it comes down to body image. If you do not exercise and have a few extra pounds, you may be concerned about how you look naked. That stray thought circling your mind while you are in bed could be a mood killer. Some lube assistance could get your brain away from the negative thoughts and back into the pleasure of right now.
Always check your medication’s side effects disclosure information provided by your pharmacist. Many drugs affect wetness and sexual desire. Two obvious culprits are hormonal birth control and antidepressants. I call these mood killers. I even had a friend who completely went off their meds in order to finally sexually perform. I do not recommend that action unless you have spoken to your doctor about it.
Certain infections, including sexually transmitted infections, will cause dryness and foul odor down there. Yeast infections and other causes like bacterial vaginosis can cause dryness. A UTI will make sex painful. Sex should not hurt so if it does see a doctor.
Even smoking, yes smoking, can cause vaginal dryness! Look lube exists for a reason. Lube can help “get you there” but if there is a consistent lack of arousal during foreplay, talk to your partner. Sometimes communication is the biggest turn on and can lead to all sorts of surprises. If you cannot be honest and open with your partner, then why are you having sex with them?
