When to call it quits
As I write this, I realize that what I thought is a hardware issue on my end may be a computer glitch on this site. I tried to start writing this blog entry four times. This is lucky number five. I am one determined woman. I’ve always been like this too. My refusal to give up was part of what my parents taught me. My parents, thank goodness, taught me to get up if you fall, crash into a fence, do a sucky drawing and try again. We, and by this I mean many current parents, are not teaching children to keep going after failures anymore. I witnessed a mother struggle to lift her 10-12 year old son into a grocery cart so she could wheel him around while she did her shopping. He was tired and having a meltdown, but she was clearly contorting herself to put someone taller than her in a shopping cart to wheel around like a baby. And I am sorry, I am being judgmental right now, and I could be totally off, but what are we teaching a child who can walk but refuses to walk? Quitting the shopping trip may have been a better choice than giving into a child refusing to walk.
So my gratitude and Thanksgiving blog is now a list of why I am thankful I grew up when I did:
No cellphones. If I wanted to talk to a friend from school, I got off my butt and walked two blocks and rang the doorbell. “Hey you want to ride bikes or play hopscotch?” We did not call each other and play video games with headsets on so we could talk over the phone.
No social media. I really believe kids need more face-to-face interaction. You want to make a rude comment, or do a bunch of “yo, momma” jokes then do it to my face. It is a lot harder and there is more at stake in a face-to-face interaction. Everyone is brave over the internet. Plus if it is a positive interaction, like developing a friendship, I want us to meet IRL (in real life) so I know you are my age and not a 30 year older pedophile catfishing me.
Limited television channels. God forbid there is nothing on television to watch. I have seen people spend 30 minutes scrolling for something to watch or finally going to an on demand channel. This small thing has slowly led to a complete lack of discipline and patience. One of my favorite shows growing up was TJ Hooker. You had to wait for the TJ Hooker episode to come on and then all summer you watched reruns or you went outside and played until it got dark. This built excitement. The family watched television together, and we discussed our values and opinions together. I do not see many families doing this anymore. In fact, it seems everyone, even the three year old has a tablet with something different playing on it. Our families are fragments of a life with slivers of family time where everyone may be in the same room together but not on the same channel.
This may all sound like I am anti-technology. No way, I love me some Google, Alexa, and Apple. You know what though. I use Google when I cannot remember recipes or what year a song came out or was Clint Eastwood in this movie. I ask Alexa to to tell me the weather and time so I can get ready more efficiently in the morning. My Apple products help me write and track my heart rate. People are freaking out over artificial intelligence. OMG, it is the end. It is not the end. Don’t quit on your life and do not let “progress” dictate how your life progresses. Your journey is your journey. Decide how best to make the technology work for you. If you relegate parenting to technology, what do you think will happen to our next generation? You want a computer to be able to lock up your house and change the heat, go for it. You want to pick up your almost teen and put him in a shopping cart like a baby, okay, your choice. However, I wasn’t raised that way.
I will get up and physically change my thermostat. I will deal with a child acting out in the supermarket instead of giving in. I will keep going even when it seems like the technology I’m trying to embrace wants to go on the fritz. Now do people have bad days? Of course, we all do. If your computer flips out five times and you want to toss it out the third story window, do it. Remember though, not every day is going to be like this. If you quit today, you can try again tomorrow. You can quit for 15 minutes and then come back more determined than ever. However, before you quit, ask yourself am I quitting because I need a break or am I quitting because I cannot take another failure. We all fail. You have to accept failures are a part of life. I still am thinking about that mom. Did she “win” because she finished shopping? Maybe not quitting was the right thing for her today; however, I am sort of curious how she was going to get him out of that shopping cart when they were done.
