Letting go of perfection
How often do you use the word perfect to describe something? Is it a goal you strive for every day that propels you forward? Or is perfect and waiting for the perfect time become an obstacle and a reason to procrastinate? In coaching sessions, I will hear people say they are waiting for the “perfect” or “right time” to leave a relationship or start a business. I also hear people say that they will be happy when they reach their “ideal weight” or they are a size 6. “My life would be perfect if I had a different boss.” Behind all these statements is the idea that a person cannot be happy and content right now because some elusive outside goal or target has not happened yet. This is a dangerous way to live and you could wait your entire life waiting for “the perfect time.”
You are more likely to experience happiness, peace, and contentment when you live in the present moment and embrace where you are today. Today, for me, is not perfect. I am dealing with a major issue that impacts my ability to do basic tasks; however, I will not delay my happiness for the day when I am cured or feel better. I can choose to be happy and live in today. I can focus on the sights and sounds around me today instead of worrying about the future. I can see people and interact with joy today because today is what I have. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Perfectionism can also trip up people in the workspace. Some workers will procrastinate turning in assignments or starting them because they believe every word they write the first draft has to be perfect. Others will write and finish but then proofread over and over trying to come up with the perfect verbage. Sometimes the important and best course of action is to let it go. Turn in that project so you get forward momentum going in your life.
If you are in a bad relationship and want to end it, finding the perfect time to have “the talk” may not come. There was someone I wanted to break up with in my twenties. He met me after work and told me he had gotten fired that day. I felt bad for him, did not break up and stayed stuck with him for two more years before I finally realized my initial concerns were valid. Perfect may actually be the coward’s way out. “I can’t travel because now is not the perfect time to take off from work.” Well do you really want to travel? Or are you looking for excuses to not doing something and the word “perfect” is an excuse.
I really want to challenge my readers to look at when and why they use the word “perfect” and consider if you want to use that word. Words have power. How you speak to yourself makes a difference.
