Let’s talk about sex
The past couple of weeks have included some interesting conversations with my friends about S. E. X. Now I can’t have intercourse because of the surgery (I am still healing, mentioned in the previous blog). However, something is in the air—maybe it is the rain and cooler weather we’ve been having in my state that has people thinking and talking about stuff that happens between the sheets—I don’t know. Today though I am going to share some thoughts, insights, and research. I was married for 20 years so you pick up a thing or two.
First, let’s talk about hair down there. I asked someone that works in the OB/GYN area “how many people come in waxed and how many people come in with hair” and I was told it is roughly 50/50. Men have started realizing the benefit of doing some trimming down there. It was in one of the American Pie movies where Jim, soon to be married, decided to do some light grooming and the hair (so gross) ended up flying into the cake. (Rent the movie because it is so worth the laughs https://amzn.to/3CLd0R3 ). Hair is a personal choice. I know a few people who do not do any grooming down there because they have a tendency to get ingrown hairs. Some races are more prone to ingrown hairs also. If it is not something you want to do, then I recommend not doing it because someone else asked you. If you have never tried it and want to see how waxing compares to shaving, go for it. Some people say they feel more sensitive down there with no hair. Figure out what works for you.
Second, sex is more than the act of intercourse which is a Webster’s dictionary definition. I would include second base as a crucial part of foreplay that leads to sex. This is why, if you are trying to save yourself for marriage, you may want to consider kissing neck and above only. If you are kissing right, you may even need cold showers in-between. Sexual activity could include grinding, heavy petting or fingering, masterbation, genital kissing or oral sex and much more. It also includes dirty talk and sexting.
Talk dirty to me is a great song thank you Poison and a great way to get someone worked up. However, there is a huge problem these days with children sexting. I don’t care if adults are into that because hey, you do you. I worry about 11 year olds who now think it is okay to have raunchy sex conversations through apps and exchange naked photos like my generation traded baseball cards. When you take a naked selfie and send it, that picture could end up anywhere on anyone’s electronic device. As an attorney, I have unfortunately seen 13 year olds get criminal charges for this type of behavior. If the juvenile is distributing it to a group, that child could face child pornography distribution charges depending on how their state defines the crime. It is not worth it! In bed, if you have an adult couple who enjoy dirty talk go for it. I will say this though (and it comes from an old Seinfield episode https://amzn.to/3lVyVOj Season 4, episode 8) know your partner’s limits and what is just talk and what is something they may actually be open to trying. Honest and open communication is always a good idea for great sex. If you go too far, apologize.
Spanking - yep I’m going there! Totally normal and here is the science behind why some women find it pleasurable Women and Spanking. In the article Wendy Strgar explains how the act releases epinephrine and norepinephrine which can elicit a pleasurable rush. Am I saying beat your partner until there are welts? No, I’m saying let’s take the taboo off spanking and put it in a category that is not vanilla sex but not crazy cicada ice cream sex (yes that flavor exists, Google it!).
That’s about all I can take for today as someone who can’t get no satisfaction (nod to you Stones fans). Enjoy the weekend when it gets here and be safe.
